My red-hot rules for sex in a relationship

This article is intended for adult audiences.

This article lists my thrilling rules for having sex inside of an established relationship. Some men may reject my rules. Am I willing to compromise? Why should I? I need only one man to happily agree with my rules, and there are plenty of men that agree with my rules.

If a man wants me to compromise, I can simply exclaim “Next!” and move onto the next candidate, and I will definitely not end up alone. A certain percentage of men in the world think that my rules are an excellent deal. And rightfully so, because my rules are indeed an excellent deal.

Imagine what would happen if I put my rules in a legal contract on paper, and then I say to a man:

“If you sign this contract, then we can have sex today.”

I would certainly not fail to find a man that signs it eagerly.

Here are my rules:

🦺 The safeword for a happy partnership

These rules are applicable only for partners inside an established relationship. These rules do not permit a stranger, coworker, acquaintance, or anybody else to do anything. A man is only my partner if we mutually agree that we are partners in a relationship, and if neither partner has communicated a wish to terminate the relationship.

Each partner must immediately stop the sexual activity if the other partner speaks the safeword. The word “Stop” is the safeword. This is a very important and strict rule. The safeword must always be respected and never ignored or disregarded.

My partner needs to understand the serious consequences of violating the safeword. If he does not stop when I say “Stop”, then he would destroy my trust in him, and I would no longer feel safe and secure with him. He needs to understand that violating the safeword just one time is absolutely not worth it, because it would ruin the huge advantages that he had, and the relationship would probably end.

If my partner knows that I am upset or distressed or hurt, then he must stop immediately. And vice-versa. In any case, each partner is expected to say the safeword if he/she is upset or distressed.

🧗‍♂️ Persistence and determination

Persistence and determination are allowed. My partner is allowed to persist in trying to have sex with me, even if he persists for hours, but only if I do not say the safeword, and only if he does not whine or complain in a pathetic or weak manner.

If my partner is trying to have sex with me, and I tell him, “Later”, “Maybe later”, “Not right now”, “Wait until tonight”, “Tomorrow”, or similar, then he is allowed to ignore me and continue trying to have sex with me, but only if I do not say the safeword (“Stop”).

Seduction is allowed and encouraged. I enjoy it greatly when a partner skillfully seduces me into having sex with him. He should use seduction instead of asking me for sex or suggesting sex in a boring manner that does not arouse me.

No asking for sex. If he asks me for sex, my answer is always, “No”. Instead, he should communicate his desire using a statement or a demand, or by touching me in an arousing manner, or by simply taking me.

Sexual demands are allowed. He is allowed to demand sex. I am allowed to accept or refuse his sexual demands, depending on my mood at the time. He is allowed to ignore my refusal if I do not say the safeword.

💪 Forceful sexual activities

All sex must be consensual sex. The safeword must never be ignored. The safeword has precedence over all other rules.

My partner is allowed to overpower my muscles and take me by force, but only if he always stops when I say the safeword, and only if his motivation for overpowering me is his lust and his strong desire for me, not enjoyment of violence or control.

If I run away, my partner is allowed to chase me, catch me, overpower me, and fuck me, but only if I do not say the safeword.

If I hold my pants or panties up while my partner is trying to pull them down, he is allowed to use his superior strength to forcibly undress me if I do not say the safeword and I am not distressed.

If I use my hands to cover my breasts or vulva, my partner is allowed to use his superior strength to forcibly move my hands away if I do not say the safeword.

If I squeeze my thighs together tightly to prevent access, my partner is allowed to use his superior strength to forcibly separate my legs if I do not say the safeword and I am not distressed.

My partner is allowed to push me against the wall so that my back is against the wall, and we are face-to-face, and I am tightly sandwiched between the wall and his body, and he keeps me there firmly while he kisses me passionately and gropes me. This is allowed if I do not say the safeword.

He is allowed to fuck me when I am not in the mood for sex, but only if I do not say the safeword. His determination can cause me to get in the mood because of my responsive desire. If he fucks me when I am not in the mood, he would be wise to try hard to make it good for me, otherwise I would be more likely to say the safeword in future (I am not an idiot).

He is allowed to penetrate me when I do not desire sex, but only if it is strictly consensual sex and I have not said the safeword and I am not distressed. This means situations when I want him to trigger my responsive desire.

He is allowed to trigger my lubrication and exploit it. He is allowed to take advantage of the fact that my lubrication starts automatically/reflexively (without conscious control), but only if I do not say the safeword, and only if he does not violate any of the other rules.

He is allowed to skip foreplay and go directly to penetrating me and having sex, but only if I am sufficiently wet and I have not said the safeword. Furthermore, he cannot make a habit of never performing foreplay, rather he can occasionally skip foreplay.

Sexually aggressive behavior is allowed if the safeword is strictly respected, and none of the other rules are violated, and I am not distressed.

“Rough sex” is allowed if it causes no physical injury, no psychological injury/harm, no distress, no intentional pain, no sadism, and no addiction to power/control, and only if the safeword is strictly never violated.

My partner must have and use Emotional Intelligence (EQ) before being forceful, aggressive, or dominating. He must use his EQ to determine when and how he can take me without hurting me in any way (mentally and physically), and without generating any negative emotions or resentment in me. He must use his EQ and IQ to organize his sexual activities in a manner that leads to a successful and enjoyable result for both of us.

Aftercare must be provided. For example, after he finishes skewering me like fresh meat, he should demonstrate his affection for me by hugging me, kissing me repeatedly, spooning with me, holding my hand, stroking my body, etc. He should understand that I would feel exploited or neglected if he just rolls over and falls asleep when he finishes fucking me. Instead, he can fall asleep while hugging me affectionately.

👑 Sexual domination and possessiveness

My partner is allowed to sexually dominate me, but only if the domination is limited to sexual activity, and only if he accepts that it will be domination without submission. I will not submit to him, and I will not become submissive. He must also stop if I say the safeword.

No taming. My partner should view me as a wild thing that he can hold tightly and screw with passion. He should never attempt to tame me like breaking in a wild horse. Some men incorrectly think that it will be better for them if they tame me. They have it backwards. If he tries to tame me, then I will rebel and speak the safeword constantly, whereas if he lets me be a wild thing, then I am far more likely to deliberately shut my mouth and not speak the safeword. It should be understandable that a wild thing likes getting fucked much more than a tame thing.

If I have sexual interest in another man, my partner is allowed to (and is encouraged to) “fuck it out of me” in order to make me monogamous. This applies both ways. If my partner has sexual interest in another woman, I am allowed to “fuck it out of him” (and he should not prevent me from doing this to him).

My partner is allowed to view my body as “his property” that he has the right to touch, fondle, grope, and fuck whenever he wants, but only if he never violates the safeword, and only if his possessive behavior is performed to a reasonable degree, not excessively and not abusively. He must also make it enjoyable for me so that I want to continue to be “his property”.

The previous rule also applies vice-versa. Thus, I am allowed to view him as “my property” and to touch, fondle, grope, and ride him whenever I want.

He is prohibited from using his superior muscle-strength to stop me from undressing him and riding him (in the woman-on-top position) whenever I want, regardless of whether he is in the mood to be ridden. However, if he says the safeword, then I must stop. If he has negative emotions, he should say the safeword.

🎁 Give and take

Pleasure can be given, received, or taken. All three of these modes are good, and all three must be used in the relationship.

I require that my partner’s primary mode of sex (what he does most often) be taking. He should take me in order to satisfy his strong desire for me. If he mostly wants to be giving or receiving, then he is incompatible with me. I know it sounds nice and generous of him to give me pleasure, but it makes me dissatisfied if he gives more often than he takes.

A man is incompatible with me if he primarily desires that I give him sexual pleasure while he passively receives. I can do this for him occasionally but not most of the time.

My partner must take the active role most often. He must be happy with the fact that the active and passive roles will not be shared equally. I expect him to happily take the active role more often than me. I am female, therefore it is normal for me to want to be in the passive/receiver role more often. Thus, I expect the man-on-top position to be used more frequently than the woman-on-top position.

He must initiate the sex most of the time. He should not be disappointed (and he should not let it reduce his self-esteem) if I infrequently (or even rarely) initiate sex. Many or most women have responsive desire (not spontaneous desire) in long-term relationships, therefore the man is required to do most of the sexual initiation.

Selfish sexual acts are allowed. Both of us are allowed to be selfish in bed. There is nothing wrong with a single act of sex being entirely for the benefit of only one of the partners, provided the “sum total” at the end of the month is reasonably balanced/fair. Taking turns is good.

My partner must regularly perform both doggy-style position and man-on-top position, and not the same position every time, because I need both of those positions over time. If he fails to do both of these positions for a period of time exceeding 60 days, then I am permitted to cheat in order to get what I need.

🥰 Orgasm rules

No fake orgasms. I never fake my orgasm for any reason such as pleasing a man, boosting his self-esteem, or convincing him that I have had enough.

My partner must not be disappointed or bothered by the fact that I never orgasm during the man-on-top position or doggy-style position, even when I intensely enjoy the sex and feel great pleasure. He should not let this reduce his self-esteem, and he should not become insecure.

My partner must accept that he cannot (and need not) give me an orgasm via any method. However, he can and should trigger my desire to get my own orgasm by riding him or touching myself. I like how my orgasms operate, and I do not wish for my sexuality to operate differently.

After I have been riding him for longer than one minute, he is prohibited from interrupting my attempt to reach my climax on top of him. However, if he says the safeword, then I must stop. I request that he only use the safeword in this situation if it is an emergency.

➰ Equipment and toys

Bondage games are allowed, but not bondage combined with sadism or masochism (BDSM is prohibited). Bondage games should be fun and/or exciting.

My partner is allowed to overpower my muscles in order to forcibly bind me or handcuff me and then fuck me while I am in bondage, but he must immediately release me from bondage if I say the safeword.

No gagging or covering the mouth, because this would prevent the speaking of the safeword.

Blindfolds are allowed.

No lubrication gel/product should be used (and no saliva either). He must trigger my natural lubrication. If I have not lubricated naturally, then his foreplay is insufficient or weak, or he is doing something wrong. (Note that hormonal contraception sometimes disrupts lubrication, but I use only non-hormonal contraception.)

No condoms. The primal part of my brain demands that I get pregnant as many times as humanly possible (or at least go through the motions), and my primal part gets annoyed if I do not get inseminated. Long-term usage of condoms leaves me feeling sexually unsatisfied.

I do not use any vibrators by myself anymore. My partner is allowed to use a vibrator on me, but he should use it only sparingly, and actually I do not need it. I enjoy sex better when I receive a thorough pussy-pounding from his vigorous wild thrusting as a result of him having strong lust for me.

🤩 Other fun activities

Groping of buttocks, penis, vulva, and breasts is allowed without asking. I am allowed to grope his buttocks whenever I want without asking for his permission first. Inside the established relationship, there shall be no absurd questions such as “May I squeeze your butt?” or “May I touch your breasts?” or “May I kiss you?” etc.

Fingering (fingers in vagina) is an allowed and recommended activity.

My partner is allowed to take advantage of my nakedness when I am showering or changing my clothing, if I do not say the safeword.

Swingers are a possibility that I would consider, although it is quite challenging to organize successfully (it is much easier in theory than in practice). I would accept only genuine swingers (“wife swapping”), not a sex club labeled as “swingers” to make it sound better than “orgy club” and “STI-sharing club”.

👎 Discouraged activities

No cuddle-sex (or only rarely). Cuddle-sex involves gentle slow thrusting and a lack of passion. This gives me little or no pleasure.

No cunnilingus. I have no interest in receiving cunnilingus. It does not excite me. Of course this varies between different women. Oral sex significantly increases the risk of fungal infections, but even if it did not, it still does not interest me.

No blowjobs. My reason and motivation for engaging in sexual activity is to satisfy my need to get fucked, desired, and bred. I need to feel his hard penis filling up my vagina. I cannot understand why a man would want to receive a blowjob rather than thrusting into me. Blowjobs make no sense in my mind. Blowjobs fail to make me feel desirable and desired.

No handjobs. Giving him a handjob makes no sense to me, because he can simply use his own hand to give himself a handjob, and he can do it better than I can, because I cannot feel what feels best for him.

🚫 Prohibited activities

No BDSM. However, the “B” (bondage) in BDSM is allowed if it is performed without the rest of BDSM, and if the safeword is strictly respected.

No sadism. No intentional infliction of pain. For example, no whipping, and no painful forms of bondage. It is mentally unhealthy to practice and enjoy inflicting pain on the partner or anybody else, and it contradicts the principles of a loving relationship.

No masochism. It is mentally unhealthy to enjoy one’s own pain or suffering.

No humiliation. For example, no “golden showers”, no ejaculating onto my face, no forced sex in front of spectators, no intentional embarrassment of either partner, etc.

No cuckoldry. I am not allowed to engage in cuckoldry, and he is not allowed to have a cuck fetish where he masochistically enjoys being cuckolded by a superior man.

No strangulation (AKA “choking”). Even light strangulation (or “choking”) is strictly prohibited, because it causes some degree of brain damage over time, and because enjoyment of violence is mentally unhealthy.

No asphyxiation. Asphyxiation (including partial asphyxiation) is strictly prohibited. Covering or obstructing the mouth or nose is prohibited.

No “anal sex”. No penetration of the anus/rectum using fingers, penis, or objects.

No control/domination outside of sexual activity.

No polygamy. No cheating. No affairs. No mistresses.

No pedo-vulva. There shall be no complete removal of pubic hair, because it is reminiscent of pedophilia. Both partners are expected to trim their pubic hair regularly.

No sex during menstruation. Exception: If it is the last day and my menstruation is very nearly finished or practically finished, and if he is very impatient and he cannot wait any longer, then he is allowed to take me early (on the last day) if I do not say the safeword.

No sex after marriage. Only sex before marriage. Complete cessation of all sexual activity upon marriage.

💬 Your rules

Can you think of any other rules that should be mentioned? Did I forget anything important?

Would you change any of the rules for your relationship and why?

Your rules may well be different. My rules are only suitable for a percentage of couples. Different people have different sexuality and different preferences. Different couples need different rules.