The best god in the universe is …

If you are wondering who the man in the picture is, he is Jesus, of course. Depicting Jesus with a pale skin color is awfully racist, considering that he is a Middle Eastern (Hebrew) dude. Even more racist is depicting Jesus with blue eyes, blond hair, and “white” skin, and then claiming that he is genetically superior to Middle Eastern people.

But personally, I think the peak of racism is claiming that Jesus is more enlightened than Middle Eastern people. That is like a double whammy, because it is a case of enlightenment of both his skin color and his spirituality. Really, really racist stuff, the pictures of White Jesus.

I support the fundamental human right of free speech, so I am not saying that pictures of White Jesus should be censored, rather I am saying that we need to talk about it, because it is pretty darn racist to say that Jesus can only be worshipped if he is transformed into a pale-skinned “Aryan” man, as if his Middle Eastern ethnicity is genetically substandard and unacceptable.

It is also sexist to claim that divinity is restricted to the male gender. White Jesus is basically one of the highest pinnacles of racism and sexism combined.

But I am getting distracted! I actually wanted to talk about Easter. The time of year when lots and lots of children totally get away with rebelling against Jesus.

Jesus hates Easter. He hates it so bad. And every year, he fails to exterminate this longstanding pagan celebration, because children and chocolate are far more powerful than Jesus. 🤣

The same goes for Christmas. Jesus hates Christmas, and he failed to exterminate Christmas just like he failed to exterminate Easter. He failed miserably. So, eventually he gave up on trying to exterminate Christmas, and he compromised by renaming it from “Yuletide” to “Christmas” (Christ mass).

He also wanted to rename Easter to something non-pagan, but he failed. Yuletide was easier to rename, because it does not have a specific god or goddess protecting it. That is why Jesus was able to get away with renaming Yuletide but not Easter.

Easter (or “Ēostre” in an earlier form) is the name of an Anglo-Saxon goddess of fertility.

In the picture, Easter/Ēostre is depicted with a pale skin color. This is accurate, because she is an Anglo-Saxon (English) goddess, and indeed most people of English ancestry have a pale skin color (unlike Jesus of Middle Eastern ancestry).

Jesus hates Ēostre’s guts with a passion (the passion of the christ), but he is powerless to stop her, because he is far weaker than her. 🤣🤣🤣

Against the mighty allure of Easter, Jesus is powerless. He is like a bug in comparison to Easter. He will never defeat her. Put Jesus and Easter in a battle, and it is totally obvious who will win. Jesus does not stand a chance against her. Not in a million years!

However, a battle between Jesus and Easter is a bit of a silly idea, considering that Jesus does not even exist in reality. Jesus is just a silly old myth. Easter on the other hand, she is the real deal. A real live goddess! We should all worship her. She is beyond-all-doubt the best god/goddess in the entire universe. She is beyond awesome. I love Easter, and you should too.

Nowadays, Christianity is a dying religion whereas Easter remains popular. This means that Easter has won! And this is fantastic news. It is the triumph of good over evil.