The standard advice about shit-tests is wrong
How to stop suffering from the bad advice from self-proclaimed “seduction experts” and “master players”.
I am aware that some women deny the existence of shit-testing by saying something like this:
“Women don’t make shit-tests. That is misogynistic garbage from the nutcases in the manosphere.”
Unlike those women, I will not lie to you about it. The truth is that some percentage of women do subject men to shit-tests. The part that is wrong is not the fact that it happens, but rather the most common advice about how to respond to it.
Firstly, let’s be clear about what exactly we are discussing. It is called “shit-testing” because people say:
“A woman gives a man shit in order to test him.”
For example: Prior to going on a date, the woman knows how tall the man is (she has seen him in-person, or she has read his exact height in his dating profile). His height is the average height of a man (this is less than 6ft). He invites her to go on a date with him. She agrees without any difficulty.
However, during the date, she casually remarks, “I only date guys above 6ft”, even though the date has already started, and she knew his height before she agreed to the date!
Another example: A woman deliberately farts and burps loudly during a dinner date (incongruent with the formal setting or place). If the man pretends that it did not happen, or if he only says something highly polite and indirect, then she assumes that he is “a weak nice guy”.
The typical advice is that the man should say something like this:
“That’s disgusting! You shouldn’t do that during a dinner date.”
If he says that, then supposedly the woman will decide that he has passed the test (he has proven that he is not a pushover). That is the typical advice, but it is not good advice.
By the way, I do not recommend the use of stereotypical or traditional dinner dates in a restaurant, but this is a different topic for a different article. The location is irrelevant for the current article, because shit-testing can occur anywhere.
Hundreds of different shit-tests exist, thus a man might never encounter the above example, but instead a different shit-test. For example, during a dinner date in a restaurant, when...
The man said nothing about sex.
He did not make any sexual innuendo or hints at all.
There was only respectful/polite conversation and no sexual flirting.
There was no talk of going to anybody’s home.
Nobody asked, “Do you want to come inside [my home] for a coffee?”
The woman is relaxed and clearly not anxious, nervous, or afraid.
And then, for no apparent reason, out of nowhere, the woman unexpectedly says assertively and confidently:
“By the way, we’re not going to have sex tonight.”
If there was no reason for saying that, then it is a shit-test. According to my research, the most common advice is that the man should reply to this shit-test with a humorous quip such as:
“I know. You need to meet my parents first.”
“I know. I’m on my period.”
“Sex before marriage is sinful. You have no chance of seducing me. I don’t want to burn in hell for all eternity just because you couldn’t control yourself.”
Joking about it is not the right response, but it is less bad than some of the other advice such as saying, “That is okay. We won’t do anything that you’re not comfortable with.”
That reply is excessively nice when said in reply to a woman’s inappropriate statement. It will be interpreted as “weak nice guy”, but the whole point of learning about the shit-tests is to avoid sounding like “a weak nice guy”, thus it defeats the purpose.
Other common advice is to respond like this:
“Why are you bringing up sex?”
“I didn’t say anything about sex, but okay.”
Those are no good. Some players recommend that one of the following techniques be used, but all of these are bad advice:
Assume she said it because she actually wants sex but doesn’t want to appear slutty, so she said the opposite of what she wants.
Appear to be completely unphased by her saying it.
Say nothing in reply. Ignore it and continue talking as if she didn’t say it, as if it never happened.
Laugh in response and say nothing about it, then change the topic.
Agree with it but flip it around and act as if it was your idea all along.
Reply, “That’s right. We’re only going to kiss and make out, but nothing more.”
Who are these players really playing – the women or desperate men willing to pay for allegedly “expert” advice from a player that claims to have slept with thousands of women?
Anybody can claim to have slept with hundreds or thousands of women. It cannot be proved or disproved. These slick salesmen do not even try to provide any evidence of their sexual prowess, rather they simply state it as if it is a self-evident fact, and they expect men to automatically believe it.
Players expect gullibility in women and men. In other words, players are playing both sides for fun and profit.
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